We Are Lost
by AlicexWonderland
Summary: Bella and Edward were inseperable once upon a time. For some reason though, they drifted away from each other. Now they are graduating and after this day who knows when they'll see each other? 'Once Upon a Time' doesnt always end with 'Happily Ever After'
1. Chapter One

_**I own nothing, thank you for reading(:**_

**EPOV**

"EDWAAAAAAARD GET YOUR LITTLE BUTT DOWN HERE OR YOU"LL BE LATE!" I heard Alice scream from downstairs. Today was graduation, and I basicly dont care but Alice was off the walls. I can hear her now running around and heavy footsteps, probably Jasper, following her making sure she didnt kill or masscara to death everything and everyone.

I already had the clothes I was going to wear under my robe on so I just grabbed the robe and hat pulling them on as I walked down the hall. "Coming Alice!" I screamed back. "YOU BETTER!" I heard he screech and then tumble around with something joined with a large thud. "ALICE!" I heard Emmett complain. "You'll thank me when they prove those things cause cancer!" Alice replid and then I praticlly heard Emmett fold his arms and pout like a puppy.

I had to smirk at that. Alice was always bugging Emmett about his obsession with playing with video games. They caused eye cancer or something.

I reached the final step and saw everyone was dressed, they had been waiting for me. "THERE YOU ARE!" Alice said as she rushed over to me and grabbed my arm. "Hey! I want that still attached to me afterwards!" I said trying to pull away from the pixie but she was to strong. "MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT!" She commanded.

"Carlisle and Esme are already in the car?" Emmett whined "But I didnt want to take the MINI VAN!" "TOUGH!" Alice said "NOW MOVE YOUR BRAWNY ASS INTO THAT CAR OR SO HELP ME GOD!" She said but she didnt have time to finish her threat "Alice..." Jasper said warning her about her mood.

She stopped and took a deep breath and the added "Lets go...Please..." She said, obvious it took her effort to be that calm and then say please when she was upset we were only...Oh I dont know...30 minutes early. By the time we get to the school it will be 15 minutes early. Oh jezz Alice stricks again.

Alice shoved Emmett and me in the back while her and Jasper got the seats in the middle of the car. "Finally" Carlisle commented then added under his breath to Esme but we all heard. "I thought she never stop screaming." "HEY!" Alice objected. "Oh no." he said and slunk away from Alice toward the window. "Just start the car." She said a wary. Carlisle obeyed and put the keys in the ignition and we pulled out of the drive way.

Alice was her normal Alice and was bouncing around and Jasper trying to calm her then Emmett teasing everyone.

"You gonna miss your little Bella?" Emmett teased. I smacked him outside the head hard. "Shuuuuut up!" I said as Emmett rubbed the spot I hit. "Owwwww dude!" "You deserve it."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not"

"Did t-"

"SHUT UP YOU TWO!"Alice screamed. We both shut our mouths and sank back into the chairs scared of that little pixie.

Yes, Emmett was right, I was going to miss Bella, in fact I have had a huge crush on her for god knows how long. She was just perfect, sweet, kind, selfless, smart, funny, everything.

We were the best of friends until I started dating Tanya, we just grew apart, she was nice enough but no Bella, I am only going out with her because I thought she help me get over this love for Bella, which I know she would never return. I mean look at me I am just me, plain old me, while she is a goddess, a down right angel, sent from heaven.

There is no ways he would ever even think of dating me, I should be happy with the fact Bella would move on from high school, get married, have kids, but I'm not, not in the slightest. I would give anything to be able to call Bella mine, but I will never be able to, she deserve better. I still sneak into her room at night and watch her sleep.

We finally arrived at the school and Esme was, somehow , as excited as Alice, Even though Bella and I hadnt been as close as we have been in the past, Bella and Alice are still the best of friends and I know she will miss her. They still hang out, but because of Tanya I'm not at home as much, usually I am being dragged god knows where everyday, that may have been the reason we grew apart, I grew apart with my whole family.

Esme dragged Carlisle and Emmett out of the car as Alice dragged me and Jasper. Esme took her purse and dragged up a camera and snapped photos of everyone and everything.

"Shoot." Complained Esme after about a thousand pictures. "I'm out of film." "Good." said Emmett and me at the same time.

"One more and I think I'll go blind." Emmett added swaying from side to side with a dazed look in his eyes.

Maybe that was just for show or maybe that flashes really did get to him I dont know that is just Emmett.

"Hey guys!" I heard a angel speak from behind me and everyone turned to see Bella. She was dressed in the same robe and cap as us and everyone else but she looked a hundred more times beatiuful. she had her hair down long, sliky and flowing, and she was wearing a little eye liner, Roseailes work, Bella never needs nor usually uses make up. Speak of the devil.

"Heyyy." Rose said dragging out the word she walked up to Emmett and he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in to kiss her full on the lips. We all turned away afirad of how far it would get. "BELLA!" Alice screamed. took her long enough. She raced over and grabbed Bella in a super strength hold.

"?Iamgoingtomiss yousooooomuch!CALLME!EverydayIdontcarhowlateitis!" Alice squealed "Alice!" Bella complained out of breath "YES!" "Cant...Breath..." She stated. Alice quickly let go. "Now I know how it feels to be Emmett." With that we all looked over to see Emmett and Rose, of course, one step away from...well...you know... "KIDS!" Snapped Carlisle and Esme at the same time. "Sorry." the said in unison. Taking huge breaths trying to get air back into their lungs. "LETS GO!" Alice commanded grabbing Bellas hand and dragging her toward the (A/N - I have no idea how graduations work so bare with me while I make stuff up!) Front desk.

The ceremony was in the aditoruim, and all the graduates sat toward the front in aphabetical order. "Alice Cullen!" Alice chirpped to the lady behind the front desk. She looked up and then back down at her files looking for her seat int he seating arangement. "Seat B24."

Alice moved away and allowed Bella to give the women her name. "Isabella Swan." She stated, and yet again the women shifted throught her papers. "Seat E12"

Bella stepped away and Emmett gave his name, then Rose, then Jasper, then me, getting our seats. "Come on, come on! Come ooooooon!" Alice commanded. We walked but I didnt stop staring at Bella, I couldnt help it she was so beatiful.

I usually try to avoid looking at her because everytime I do it makes me want to cry. We quickly grabbed our seats and Esme and Carlisle to wishing us luck before retreating to the partents section. It droned on, and on, and on, and on, finally it was time for them to hand us our diplomias (A/N - No idea how to spell that!) We all got in a line still in alphebetical order. After a while they reached the C's "Alice Cullen." Alice walked up smiling grabbed her diplomia and then rececived her hand shake before walking over to the seat she had been assigned and waited for the rest to line up and then take the picture of our class. "Emmett Cullen." Emmett did the same as Alice then went over to sit down. "Edward Cullen. I recived my diplomia and got my hand shake then sat down next to Emmett. I tuned out again but I heard familiar names and picked up on them. "Jasper Hale." "Roseaile Hale." "Isabella Swan." We all waited until they reached the end "This is our class of 2008!"

Everyone stood up and threw their hats int he air, Alice was of course jumpig up and down and then smoothing out her hat hair. Emmett was slapping people int he arm and then watching them turn around about to slap him back but then get a look of horror on their face.

Rose was cheering and made her way over to Emmett to make out. yet again. Bella was hugging one of her friends Angela and they were both crying. I wanted so badly to take her in my arms and wipe the tears away but I couldn't.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~ **At Jasper's House** *~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~~*~

"What is going on with you" Jasper asked, I admit I was acting strange, I just kept thinking of Bella.

"Nothing." I said, sound quite dead. "Come on!" Emmett said. "The girls are out on a girls night I am still amazed Bella talked Alice out of a huge party." I winced a little at the thought of Bella. "So it is Bella?" Jasper inquired. "Spill."

Caving, I breathed "It's Bella."

**BPOV - _Graduation Day_**

Greeeeat! Rose was over at my house because Alice needed to get the guys under control. So far I had complained enough so she only almost poked my eyes out with eyeliner, and eye shadow.

"Come on Bella we are going to be late!" Rose complained "Coming coming coming!" I yelled back grabbing my cap and raced off to the car. Tripping two times. I opened the door to shot gun in Roses convertable and slamed the door behind me, Charlie was already at graduation, he said he needed to be there for something for security but I wasn't listening.

"So..."Rose said. "You going to confesse your love to your little Eddie?" She tease. I blushed a bright red. "Shut up!" Rose and Alice were the only ones who knew I liked Edward. Alice kept trying to gt us together but I said it never happen and she eventually stopped.

Me and Edward use to be best friends but when he started dating Tanya we grew apart. He kinda grew apart with his whole family. He could never love me anyway, I was to plain, plain jane.

I pondered that and made small chat with Rose until we reached the school. I saw Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, Alice, and Edward, I few cars down and we walked over.

"Shoot." Complained Esme. "I'm out of film." "Good." said Emmett and Edward at the same time. "One more and I think I'll go blind." Emmett added swaying from side to side with a dazed look in his eyes.

I'm guessing Esme had a Alice moment and went photo crazy on one picture "Hey guys!" I said Everyone turned around, Edward was closest though, he looked like her was a greek god sent down.

"He never like me," I chanted in my head

"He never like me, how could he love me? Get over him, get over him!"

"Heyyy." Rose said dragging out the word she walked up to Emmett and he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in to kiss her full on the lips. We all turned away afirad of how far it would get. "BELLA!" Alice screamed. took her long enough. She raced over and grabbed me in a super strength hold.

"?Iamgoingtomiss yousooooomuch!CALLME!EverydayIdontcarhowlateitis!" Alice squealed "Alice!" I complained out of breath. She was sqeezing the life out of me! "YES!" "Cant...Breath..." I stated. Alice quickly let go. "Now I know how it feels to be Emmett." With that we all looked over to see Emmett and Rose, of course, one step away from...well...you know... "KIDS!" Snapped Carlisle and Esme at the same time. "Sorry." the said in unison. Taking huge breaths trying to get air back into their lungs. "LETS GO!" Alice commanded grabbing my arm and dragging me toward the Front desk.

The ceremony was in the aditoruim, and all the graduates sat toward the front in aphabetical order. "Alice Cullen!" Alice chirpped to the lady behind the front desk. She looked up and then back down at her files looking for her seat int he seating arangement. "Seat B24." Alice moved away and allowed me to give the women her name. "Isabella Swan." I stated, and yet again the women shifted throught her papers. "Seat E12" I stepped away and Emmett gave his name, then Rose, then Jasper, then Edward, getting their seats. "Come on, come on! Come ooooooon!" Alice commanded. I felt like someone was staring at me but I shook it off.

I kept trying to look at Edward but everytime he was just ignoring me. It made me want to cry. We quickly grabbed our seats and Esme and Carlisle to wishing us luck before retreating to the partents section. It droned on, and on, and on, and on, finally it was time for them to hand us our diplomias,

We all got in a line still in alphebetical order. After a while they reached the C's "Alice Cullen." Alice walked up smiling grabbed her diplomia and then rececived her hand shake before walking over to the seat she had been assigned and waited for the rest to line up and then take the picture of our class. "Emmett Cullen." Emmett did the same as Alice then went over to sit down. "Edward Cullen. Edward recived his diplomia and got his hand shake then sat down next to Emmett. I stared, I couldnt help it, he had his hair toseled strands in every diretion, even under the cap, goegus beyond belief. I tuned out again but I heard familiar names and picked up on them. "Jasper Hale." "Roseaile Hale." "Isabella Swan."

Oh thats me!

I walked over and reveived my diplomia and my hand got shook...BORING! I can barley sit throught this how can Alice? the ADD child?

We all waited until they reached the end "This is our class of 2008!" Everyone stood up and threw their hats int he air, Alice was of course jumpig up and down and then smoothing out her hat hair. Emmett was slapping people in the arm and then watching them turn around about to slap him back but then get a look of horror on their face. Rose was cheering and made her way over to Emmett to make out. yet again.

I felt a nudge in my arm and turned around, It was Angela, crying up a storm. "I'm going to miss you Bella." she said breaking twice. That reminded me that today was the last day I see alot of them again. I felt tears coming into my eye and a lump choke itself in my throat. "I'm going to miss you too Angela!" I said throwing my arms around her and she to me. We both started to bawl our little eyes out. Last day I may ever see, Angela or any of them again

...Even Edward...

** ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Girl's Night Out *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~***

I had talked Alice into a girls night out with me, Angela, her, and Rose. How I did it? It involved tears and and a long speech, but i got her to be able to just go shopping (stupid give and take...Grrrrr.), see a movie, then eat a our favorite resteruant. SNEAKERS! Ooooh so good.

Alice had just handed me a whole rack of clothes to try one and I had just slipped into a black dress with a green satin tie around the waist, and, god knows why, she had my try on green high heels, cute, but I already tripped like 6 times just getting them on. "Bella why you so mopy?" Alice asked I have to admit I was quite quiet, even for myself.

"Nothing." I lied poorly, of course.

"Come on Bella, spill." Rose commanded.

"It's nothing." I said.

"You can tell us." Angela encouraged

And I spilt my guts

Caving, I breathed "It's Edward."

EPOV

"She looks better than ever. "

BPOV

"I couldnt stop staring at him"

_E_-"I asked her how things were going after graduation."

_B_-"I asked how his girlfriends was."

_E_**-**"I pick her over any girl I'm with." I said truthfully

_B_-"He is probably really happy now."

_E-_"I can't even look at her without crying."

_B_-"He won't even look at me."

_E_**-**"I told her I missed her, that I messed up by letting us float apart."

_B_**-**"He didnt mean it."

_E_**-**"I meant it."

_B_**-**"He doesnt mean it."

_E-_"I love her."

_B_-"He doesnt love me."

_E_-"I held her for the last time."

_B_-"He gave me a friendly hug."

_E-_"I went home and cried."

_B_-"I went home and cried."

"I lost her."

"I love him."

**Okay, I hope that last part wasnt too confusing. Comment if it was, so I can fix it. I'm in the process of fixing this story. **

**Signed, **

** Always Aspiring. **


	2. Chapter Two

**DISCLAIMER – I dont own Twilight. If I did you think I be writing Fanfiction? I BE SPENDING MONEY! hehe**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

I didn't actually think that I would take such steps in my life to have the perfect T.V. life . I would never have guessed that I would have this all. I would have never guessed I have this all and be completely miserable. I don't even know why I'm miserable, maybe because I still am in love with a person that never and could never love me back and I haven't seen in almost 7 years.

Know who he is? Guesses are free.

Yes, Edward. They only one i've ever really been interested in and I let him go. I let him go because I want to have left it on a good note and I dont remember his last words to me to be "Ummm...Maybe we should just stay friends." or worse "Back off you freak."

People live in fear so often we don't know what we are missing. Only difference between those people and me is I know exactly what I'm missing.

I miss Alice, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle, and Roseaile. I miss the life I had 7 years ago in senior high.

Alice and I had fallen apart now I haven't talked to her in 2 years. She left about 2 years after graduation for paris. She got this big offer from some hot-shot designing, to be her personal assistant. She, of course, flipped and with Jasper to live in Europe. They got married over there to. About 5 months after living together Jasper got down on one day and said the 4 little words every girl kills to here, "Will you marry me?". I miss her like crazy an I don't know what's up with her. She had gotten crazy busy at work and never calls and I couldn't call her because I'm not the type of person who can afford a call to Paris.

After collage I had taken a job as a owner of a small coffee hut, "Tiny Java". It was going well, I mean I wasn't living in a cardboard box on the side of the road, but I wasn't swimming in cash.

Now I'm sitting in the front room of a church, thinking over my life, waiting for my cue to become Mrs. Isabella Jacob Black.

Yeah, I'm getting married.

**A/N - I know short but I actually already have the next chapter done I'll post it tomorrow. Love my Cliffy? I thought you did! **


	3. Chapter Three

**DISCLAIMER!! - I own nothing ENJOY!**

_Last time on We Are Lost..._

_Now I'm sitting in the front room of a church, thinking over my life, waiting for my cue to become Mrs. Isabella Black. _

_Yeah, I'm getting married._

**BELLAS POV!**

_**Flashback**_

I was hanging around Tiny Java. Things slow as it does get. These are usually the days I worry about going broke. My legs propped up on table in the front of the room, out next to the door, and i was reading "Miss Spitfire – Reaching Helen Keller"

I heard the rare sound of the bell ringing meaning someone had opened the door. I was so startled I jumped six feet in the air and went flying in my chair. I was getting read to fall on the tile floor when i felt warm hands through the bars of the chairs keeping me 90 degrees from my fall. The kind person put my chairs on all 4 legs and I turned still in my seat to thank him/her.

Oh it was a he. A very muscular he in fact. He was native american if I could guess and he had long black hair, some covering his face. He was cute, I'll give him that, and _me _to say a boy is cute is like a nun getting down and dirty.

"Hi, I'm Jacob. What's your name?" He said putting his hand out for me to shake. I was still a little stunned so I shook out of it and put my hand in his. In comparison my looked very tiny in his huge one I looked like a doll compared to him, even more fragile than usual.

"Isabella, but I prefer Bella please." I said.

"Would you like me to treat you to a cup of coffee?" He asked in polite tone. I'm not use to the opposite sex paying much attention to me. My friends, Ali, Sarah, and Karen, always say that the boys wont keep their eyes off me but I don't believe that. They just want me to date and I don't date.

"How about I cover us?" I suggested. I own the place, one perk was i got free coffee and i always got the best service cause if they mess up my order chances are they will be the first to lose a job.

"No, no, no I'll get it." He encouraged.

"It's the least I could do, you just saved my butt."

"I oferred." He tried to counter.

"I can get free coffee." I said a little smuggly. He was silent for a minute before he tried to understand what i said.

"Um...I dont think you can steal cause they have to give it to-"

"NO! Jezz I own the coffee place."

"Ohhhh. Thats why your always in here."

"Yeah well -...Wait...How do you know I'm always in here?

"Well...Uh...Okay.. I saw you in here one day and I've been coming in daily...trying to get the nerves up to...talk to you." Awww. Thats so sweet.

"Well your talking to me now."

"Well...Um..."

"Spit it out Jake."

"Would you um...Want to go to diner sometime?"

"Sure." I said with a sincere smile.

_**10 months later**_

I have no idea why or where really Jake was leading me. We were walking down the La Push beach. Jake was holding my hand so I didnt fall flat on my face, and if my counting is right, I had almost 5 time.

Jake walked over to a pile of twigs and I followed tripping over a couple of twigs on the way

9 times.

"Jake! What are you trying to do kill me?!"

"Quite the opposite really."

"I hate suprises!!"

"You'll love this one."

"Jaaaaake!"

"Bellaaaaaa!" He said mocking me

I huffed and he sat me down on a huge tree trunk which probably fell over in the last storm.

"Bella." He said. Starting off for a speech to what i don't know.

"Bella, form the first time I laid eyes on you I fell in love with you. Your beatiful in every single way, even though you don't see it your self. Just part of your charm I guess. Your the kindest person I know and love everything even if it hasn't proven worthy of your love. I love how you cant walk 2 feet with out falling -"

"HEYY!" I said slightly insulted but it was true. He kept going and ignored my out burst.

"What I'm trying to say here is Bella." He said looking me straight in the eye getting down on one knee never losing eye contact.

"Will you marry me?"

_**END FLASHBACK!!**_

"BELLAAA!!" Sang Renee. She was beyond happy I was getting married.

"Honey you have a half n' hour before the big time!" She was almost jumping off the walls.

I smiled as she rambled on and on for about ten minutes about this and that and honeymoon and planes and everything before she left me alone to, and I quote, "Think."

And that I do need to do cause I don't think I can do it

I don't think I can walk down that aisle

I think I may have confused best friend with boyfriend in my mind.

I love him I'm just not_ in_ love with him

What can I do?

Answer – Do what is cowardly, chicken and the best idea I've ever come up with

Runaway

**A/N – Okay! I got a chapter up! Hope you like it I love the idea of Bella The Runaway Bride. Tell me if you have any other ideas pleeeeeeeez! If you haven't noticed I try to make it a chapter a day soooooo TURN IN TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OF WE ARE LOST!**

**_PLAY UPDATE! - Going great! We finished the reading (we sit in desk in a circle and read out lines)and we get to go on stage and act tomorrow! Yay! So happy!_**


	4. Chapter Four

**A/N – Heres the other chapter I promised. Sorry I was kinda out of it yesterday, we _creamed_ the other team 49 to 0!! GO BATRAM!! **

**DICLAIMER - **

**Edward – (mope)**

**Bella – (mope)**

**Me – OH SNAP OUT OF IT! Your making me depressed**

**Edward – Oh go jump off a cliff**

**Bella – Yeah, your evil enough to keep us apart!**

**Me – Be nice! I can make you not runaway and actually marry him!**

**Bella & Edward – NO!**

**Me – fine then just help me finish the disclaimer so I don't get sued**

**Bella – She doesn't own us or anything from the twilight series**

**Edward – FREE WILL BABY!**

**Bella – Stephenie Meyer does**

**Edward – _Dang_**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

Is that the really answer? Running away? It's the only option I can think of . I don't want to marry him. I cant marry him! But he has been nothing but sweet to me, he has done nothing but help and care for me. I cant leave him at the alter thats terrible!

What about me? I cant marry him, I don't love him like he loves me. I don't know what to do! I felt like I was being torn in two, making him happy and making myself happy.

I know what I have to do, and it's now or never.

Searching through the the desk I a old flyer I deem good enough to write my note on.

_Dear family and friends,_

_ I cant do this I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you by running away but I have to do what is right for me for once. I understand if you hate me, I'm even self-loathing right now, but you have to understand that it wasn't right. Jake you'll find the right girl in no time, one who will love you no matter what, kind, caring, and beatiufull, all the things you deserve. I'm sorry I'm not her. Some of you may see me and others you may not. I'll try to stay out of everyones way. I don't know where I'm going I just know I'm not going home. _

_ Goodbye,_

_ Bella_

As I write the note I feel a lump the size of my fist in my throat. I restrain it but i feel it growing in my throat and the preassure on my chest get tighter. and fold the note in half and tape it to the window.

"This is the right thing" I chanted to myself "Best for everyone. Right thing, best for everyone. Right thing. Best for everyone. Right thing, best for everyone."

_Knock knock knock _

"Bella?"

**(A/N – I was going to end it there!)**

I'm stay silent, completely stunned.

"Bella you in there?"

Oh Jake.

"Sorry, Yeah I'm here." I finally work up the courage to say. "Jake why are you here?"

"I...I just...Want to say I love you." He said slightly ashamed but not a hint saying he didn't mean it.

The lump in my throat is starting to give way. A tear streams down my face and lands on the floor. It's so silent I can here it land on the carpet with a barley aduible sound.

"Bella?...Bella are you okay? Should I come in?" He said worried. The door knob rattles and I thank god I locked it.

"No! No. I'm fine, just little...Tired thats all..."

"Well, I have to go Bells. 5 minutes." He says very cheery on the last part. He doesn't say 5 minutes till what but I know what he means

"Yeah, 5 minutes." I grumble sadly.

"Love you."

"Mhmmm."

He doesn't even realize I didn't say I Love You back.

I hear his feet echo down the hall getting softer and softer till I cant hear them anymore.

5 minutes till the wedding

The wedding. The thing I'm running away from.

Coward little me.

**A/N – Haha! CHLIFFY QUEEN!! I'm sorry the last few chapters have been so short but I promise the next one will be nice and long! I had to cut it short because today is my sisters Birthday party and my friend is coming over to make sure the vultures don't kill me and eat my inners (Yes I know thats gross) I'll try to get the next chapter up tomorrow. **

**PS – You must not have liked my last chapter cause i only got 2 reviews :'( **

**Plez review? **

**If you don't, we will just see what has happened to Edward... I smell drama!**


	5. Chapter Five

**A/N - OKAY! This will be a long chapter!! I'm sorry the last few have been so short. I hate doing short chapters. No more shorties I promise! But if I don't update for a while you know I'm working on it!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight**

**WARNING - I cant spell for the life of me!**

**Bella's Pov**

_Last time on We Are Lost_

**_5 minutes till the wedding_**

_The wedding. The thing I'm running away from._

_Coward little me._

--

I'm hurting him by leading him on. I have to go

I throw off my high heels and pull on my sneakers I had came here with stuff all the money from my purse down my bra, and open the window. it's not a drop at all. It's a small one story church.

I craw out the window and leave it open behind me so they know I left and notice the note I had taped to the window saying my goodbyes. I lay on hand on the building and look back at the window. I could easily craw back through and do what i had planned to do 3 months ago. I could easily craw back in and deal with life. I could easily do all these things but what keeps me from doing that is knowing I'd be miserable for the rest of my life and Jacob would eventually realize we aren't meant for each other. I wish he understand that once he reads my note. It will probably be the last words from me to him, I plan on avoiding him to make a clean break

Yet, again things never work my way, remember that, cause pretty much it's my life and the plot is bound to repeat it self.

I tear myself out of my little world, hiked up the skirt of my dress and ran. I don't know where i was going it was kind of a instinct thing. Following my heart. Going where my pulse tells me. I could feel the stares I was getting on my back from the seldom people out on this average day at Forks Washington. I, really, didnt care. Te only ones who I actually cared what they thought of me was at the church.

I slowed down my pace after a good 10 minutes, panting heavy. I dropped my dress and walked wary over to a bench a few yards away from me.

I looked around and dropped down on the seat. I was in The Park. Of course my body would drag me here. It was the my single favorite place on earth.

Every since I was old enough to go out on my own, even before then when i would sneak out, I would come here when i was upset.

For what seems like little things now,

When I got braces, when i broke my arm, leg, ect. , My dog ran away, when I was really mad at my parents or someone, Or sometimes when I just had a bad day.

Or for major things like,

When my parents got a divorce, when I figured out I was in love with my best friend, when said friend got a girlfriend, when said friend moved and never talked again, when said friends sister and I lost touch,

Now...

I was sitting in the smack dab middle of the bench and my wedding dress, now muddled at the hem, was fluffed up and taking up the entire bench.

I groaned and put my head into my hands and shaked my head no over and over again to myself. I started grumbling. I probably look like a mad, women who walked out on someone.

I think I'm coming pretty close to fitting that description to the T.

I tilt my head up till i'm looked at the dark gray sky. I stare at it for a moment before clasping my hands together and put it over my nose but I never lose contact with the sky. I drop my hands and continue staring.

"Why? Why can't I love the guy that actually loves me? Why can't I find that one? Did I kill a puppy or something? Did I do anything but do good? Why do you hate me?!" I shouted out to the sky to the angels looking down on me, laughing i bet.

Yup, fit to the T.

Just as I finished my rant to the angels there was a bright flash of light and a loud thunderous clap and it started to rain, pour more like it, drenching me head to foot in a matter of 10 seconds.

Certainly laughing their butt off. Great I'm the joke of the world, everyones little drama so they can escape from their own pathetic lives and tune in on Bella.

What next are they going to have me do ? Jump through a ring of fire?

I moved my head so I was looking directly in front of me. I can only guess what I look like, soaked and dirty wedding dress, wet, messy hair, running mascara, puffy red eyes.

I stay perfectly still as the rain washed down my back and onto the ground and I cant help but think of Superchicks, Stand in the Rain

You know everyone thinks of the poor groom who was left at the alter. What about the bride? I mean before this I would have never thought of her as more of a jerk who wasnt good enough to tell the man she has probably said I love you to countless times goodbye, but now i have respect.

She is as torn as the groom only his hurt is more sudden them hers, she had been thinking about how this wont work out and imagined fears of life to come. She had been the one with enough guts to say that it wont work, it cant. She will also be the on that everyone will hate. She is the one that has to deal with the what if. She is the one i personally think suffers the most.

Of course it depends. The groom will be the one that will forever think "What went wrong?". He will be the one that will mourn over this for weeks, months, maybe even years if he doesn't get stuff over like normal people. He will also be the one to get all the pity, which i personally hate. He wll be the one who will have the scars of being left at the alter.

They both suffer equally but everyone sees what they want to see, they see one person breaking a promise.

It's still pouring as I'm unraveling this little secret. I stand up and walk to the road. I decide to get a taxi to get out of here. God might give me what I want and kill me if i stay out her much longer. Finally reaching the side of the road, it's empty except for the few cars.

I know with forks size it doesn't seem likely there will be a taxi but there are actually tons, most of which are only around the area because of Seattle and Port Angles.

I sit on the curve as I wait, looking pretty scary to whoever sees me. A bus passes by I don't even acknowledge it. I sit there looking out for a taxi. My hands holding my head up on my legs, back hunched Im finally able to hold the hold the tears in. Only thing is the longer i hold it in the longer it begs to be let out. I can never hold my emotions in, off my face or in my mouth, away from whoever it could hurt or whoever i'm hiding it from.

Finally what i wanted comes. I see a yellow taxi coming from my left. I stand up and way my right hand out and wave back and forth. The car slows while it comes up to me and stops right in front. I open the door and I see his worried glance in the rear view mirror

It's not everyday you see a runaway bride on the streets of Forks. I'm probably the first.

"Umm...Where to lady...Do you need help?" He said voice filled with the unspoked question 'Want me to take you to the coo coo town?'

again I told you i'm the first.

"No. No I'm fine Take me to..." I say wilting off. I have no idea where I'm going. I have to answer quick or he'll tell me to get out and who knows how long it will be till I get another Taxi.

I say the first place that pops into my mind. "Take me to 575 Willows Drive."

The one place in the world that still holds more good memories than bad. The one place I felt like I belonged and was a misfit at the same time.

The Old Cullen House.

**(Okay i had the rest of this chapter done thursday but it didnt save! so i have to rewrite everything from this point on!!)**

"Oh yeah i know the place." He said. "The doctor and those kids lived there right. The ummm... Cullers?"

"Cullens." I stated blankly.

"Yeah Cullens!" He sighed and then looked back at me "why do you want to go there for? It's a old house.. No one moved in after the Cullen's left... Maybe I should take you -" He said but i cut him off. I knew exactly what he was going to say... "Maybe i should take you home." I want to, God knows i want to, but i cant. I just cant.

"No... Take me there please." I asked a little annoyed. I ask him to go somewhere he goes there. Thats how it works.

"Okay miss."

He pulled onto the road and headed north, toward the house. It was a akward silence for the most part. He drove expecting me to spill my guts. I don't.

_"This isn't what you you wanted... Was it? Was it? This isn't what you wanted. This isn't what you wanted." - Paramore - All We Know_

We finially reach the house a good 10 minutes later. I open the door and step out take two steps and stop dead in my tracks just staring.

Oh so many memories. I remember when Carlisle and Esme moved away to North Dakota to be closer to Edward. I had accepted everyone in my life was going to eventually leave me.

Oh how the tables have turned.

I heard a cough from behind me and see the cab driver still there.

"Umm Miss? Thats 30 bucks." He said gesturing to the meter. Oh right paying... hehe

"OH! Sorry..." I reach into my bra and pull out enough money. I really dont care i'm doing this in public. I hand him the money and almost laugh as he pinches it with his nails and throws in into the passenger seat.

I said almost.

He turns back to me and I expect him to pull the car into reverse and back out of the driveway. But he doesn't

He opens his mouth to say something then closes it. A few more seconds and he sums up the courage to say it.

"You know I got left at the alter once. Hurt like hell. Then I was sad. Few more days i thought of it less. Than less. Than not at all and when i did it didn't hurt. I meet my Bessie and lived happily ever after as a cab driver." he said sarcasm dripping in his tone toward the end. He grinned to add to the effect and I actually chuckle.

"He'll learn it was the right thing." He said back to his calm and assuring face

"Thank you."I said truthfully. :You have no idea how much that helps."

"I never saw her again, even though our families were close i never did. Her family said she hurt to but i never believed them. Seeing you like this." he said waving his arm up and down at me. "Proved to me that."

"Thanks Mr..." I trailed off... I don't know his name.

"Call me Check. Real names Chester Check." He said holding out his arm. I pulled mine out to shake his.

"Bella . Real names Isabella Swan."

"Well Miss Swan- "

"Bella." I corrected.

"Yes Miss Bella." He mocked. I crocked a smirk.

"Anywho." He continued. "We'll meet again. Fate has a funny way of working things out. I'll see you around." He pulled out of the drive way and I waved at him as he left. I watched him turn the corner then turned around to look at the house.

Still same old same old. It was still the same as I remember it. Maybe a little more ruff around the edges, unkept, dirty.. Still the same old house i remember.

I take slow baby steps up to the porch and walk right up to the glass door. Nose to nose.

The tears i've been holding in for to long finally start to come out. They leak down my face and plop onto the ground. I slide down onto my knees never.

So many memories.

I move my legs so i'm sitting and i scoot over to the corner so my right side is snuggled up to the wall along with my back.

At least it's not raining.

_BANG!_

There was a flsh of lightning and it started to, very lightly, drizzle on the earth.

At least it's not bad.

It got harder.

I put my head back and let the flood gates open

Why does the angels hate me so?

**A/N - Ugh like depressed now. So sorry It took me so long to get this out and for my alert ppl yes i did post a chapter but i took it down cause it was tiny and i wanted it to be longer.**

**NEXT CHAPTER EDWARD!!**


	6. Chapter Six

**DISCLAIMER – I dont own Twilight. If I did you think I be writing Fanfiction? I BE SPENDING MONEY! hehe**

* * *

**EDWARD'S POV (What you've all been waiting for... Well sorta)**

Life sucks.

Thats it. Thats all I have to say.

No correction. i have more to say.

Life sucks then you die.

There, I added 3 words.

You can say I haven't had it easy for the past 7 years. Or more like living hell you cant escape no matter how hard you hit your head or how deep you cut yourself.

Aren't I cheery?

I've always thought people were a being a little dramatic when they said there life sucks. I mean there are people worse off.

I'm one of those people.

I mean maybe a hobo has it worse but right now i think i even get pity from them.

Life story? Be warned you'll want to commit suicide too after you hear.

FLASHBACK!**_ 5 YEARS AGO! 6 MONTHS AFTER GRADUATION_**

I was laying on my bed starin up at the ceiling, like most days, in my apartment in New York.

_Bella Swan_

Bella Swan

Bella Swan

Bella Swan

Bella Cullen...

MY Bella Cullen...

Why did I let you go?

"Hey cutie." I heard Tanya try to pur sexily but i tried into a repulsive sound that made my ears burn.

Better than nothing.

"Hi Tanya." I said in a Mono-toned voice. Which, to my dismay, didnt make her back off. She used her index finger and middle finger to make as if her hand was walking on my leg.

"Eddie -"

"-Dont call me that." I growled. Again she never backs off. You could say "I hate you" pull a knife on her and then stab her but she would still think you and in head over heels.

You may think thats extreme, if you do you don't know Tanya. I've been thinking of ways to break up with her and now is better then never. I'll never get her off my back if I dont do it NOW. It's wrong to drag her along any longer. She wasnt the one I loved, I'll never have the one I love but I think I at least deserve somene better than Tanya. She can go off to The PlayBoy Bunny mansion and become Hef's 4th Girl Next Door.

"Tanya - "

"Yes baby?" Again trying to be cute. I cringed. We had...Well you know... about week ago. We were verrrrrry drunk. I mean very. Trust me I never do that if I was sober.

"Dont call me that either."

"Fine." she huffed a little them smiled, trying to be cute...again...Jezz whats with this girl?

"Tanya."

"Yes , _Edward_." Ugh smart mouth. I rolled my eyes and went on.

"Tanya. I think we should break up." I said simple she took a second before it registered.

"WHAT?!" She said standing up quickly and getting in my face

"Yes Tanya! I'm tired of this relationship! You do nothing but slut up the place and try to get me in you pants! I WANT THIS OVER!" I said standing up also, letting my temper get the best of me.

"Yeah?! YEAH!" She said. "Well You didnt feel that way lest week! YOU SAID IT WS THE BEST FREAKIN SEX YOU EVER HAD!"

"YEAH WELL IT WAS THE ONLY SEX I'VE EVER HAD AND I WAS DRUNK!!" I said. Oooooh crap. I was getting a bubling feeling in my chest that i only get when i'm about to say something over the line.

"HAVING SEX WITH YOU WAS A MISTAKE!!" Yup that was not needed.

"YEAH?!" She asked very mad she got up and was nose to nose with me, and for the first time this kind of closeness didn't make her try to get me in bed.

"YEAH?" SHe continued. "WELL NOW YOU CAN SAY THAT TO A KID IN 9 MONTHS!! YOU CANT TELL THEM HEY YOUR A DRUNKIN MISTAKE!! OR YOU CAN BE A JACKASS FATHER AND SKIP OUT OF TOWN LIKE MINE DID! DO YOU REALLY WANT THAT IN YOU HEAD?!"

That stopped me dead in my tracks.

"What?" I asked in a low disbelieving voice.

She calmed too and looked down on the floor guilty

"Edward...I'm...I'm...I'm Late..." She said in a low voice.

"For what? Why don't you just go then. Trust me I can wait." I said very confused... What was the big deal about being late? She is like the queen of 'fashionable' late. and what the heck did that have to do with a baby?

"No Edward. Not that kind of late. I'm late for my period." She said, pausing me for it to sink in.

"What?!" I asked jumping up to face her. A BABY A FREAKIN BABY!?

"W-W-HAT?! HOW- Well I know how! But IT WAS ONLY ONCE!"

"Thats all it takes Edward." She said simple, waiting for me to strangle her to kill the...thing.

I took a second to calm myself. This was getting out of control. I was getting out of control.

Everything was out of control.

Thats when I blacked out.

**FLASH BACK TO 6 MONTHS LATER!!**

"- and do you Edward Cullen take her to be your-" Blah blah blah blah.

Yup I was getting married.

The the one person i hate the most

cause i knocked her up

and don't even really remember it

I mean i have to marry her right? I cant just leave her alone to raise i kid. I mean i didn't have to marry her but then i wont be as big a part of the kids life. I had to be there for the kid, if he was going to be messed up by how his father and mother hate each other might as well have a father figure.

maybe i'll learn to deal with her

anythings possible...

I tuned back in right in time. "- as long as you both shall live?" No

"I do." I said grimly, anyone who knew i didn't want this wedding could notice my tone, all the others ignored it.

"And do you Tanya Delia take - " blah blah blah blah blah

Tanya's... big... Very big...

you should see some of her cravings:

Pickles, cream cheese and chocolate ice cream.

Carrots, honey, and Oreo sub.

ewww. I mentally shuddered, fighting not to interupt the (another mental shudder) the wedding.

"I do" i heard Tanya say waking me up from my little day dream of what has gone into that mouth.

"You may now kiss the bride." The preist said. I turned to her and she had her eyes closed and lips puckered. I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her in leaningin to kiss her.

Sigh

What have i done now

That very second while kissing Tanya and everyone clapping and crying I had a flash of my favorite fantasy.

That it was Bella I was kissing not Tanya.

That she was the one in the white dress, there would be no massive bump seperating us because she is to good for that, and i would have enough sense to marry her not by force.

that we were in a small wedding like I knew she want and she would blush like mad before I pulled he into me and kissed her with passion instead of just puckering her lips looking like a fish.

Instead i'm in the mother of all wedding.

A cheesy wedding at that.

Tanya was beyond big

I WAS forced to marry her by my own ethics

and Tanya looks like a fish on a daily basis.

like i said before, What have I done now.

**6 MONTHS LATER!!**

okay I admit, he's cute

Little Eric was born 3 months ago, right on the due date.

he looks alot like his mother... Which, i must say, works better for a guy than a girl, he's my little baby player

and also i learn one other thing.

Women are scary in child birth. Very. Scary.

Tanya never goes near Eric unless forced to or we have company.

for this very reason Eric doesnt like her and crys when she holds him till I get him or he is put down.

Her friends dont like him either

I really dont know how they could hate something so innocent

Tanya was reading (yeah i know shocker) next to the door and i was over in the living room in the rocking chair with Eric in my hands.

There was a knock at the door and Tanya tore, and i use that term loosely, from her book to give me a You-Go-Get-It

"Fine I'll go get it." I said smug for i knew what she would do. She looked back at her book and then i carried on. "Could you just hold Eric while I talk to them. May take a while and if Eric wakes up, BOY! will he scream."

She looked up from her book, at me, then to Eric, then to me again, sighed, leaving the book on the couch not bothering to mark her place, and went to answer the door.

She unlocked the door then opened it wide open, foolish since we moved to New York a while ago so she could 'act'. Well that didnt go so well so now we live in a... Well I like our apartment...

Half the people who come to our house are looking for something to kill. Which is why I usually leave the chain on the door and crack it as far as it would let it go, bout 2 inches so they cant slaughter us all.

But Tanya aint to bright

yeahhh I still dont like her yet

hopefully that will change

for Eric's sake.

The door opened to reveal a tall man with messy long blonde hair, he looked determined and angry...

Crap we got a killer

**(I Was going to leave off there but I am going to have 2000 words for each chapter at least and right now it's only 1, 700)**

"Tanya." He growled.

Okay so he wasn't a random killer... I have to agree with his choice of kill though.

"Oh my." She said stunned. Slightly backing away.

"Tanya." He growled again. staring daggers at her.

"No! No! Henry don't!" She pleaded.

"Why not? HE'S MY KID!" this henry said

Wait his kid?

"What's going on here?!" I interupted standing up and walking toward the door, I woke Eric, but i think he was awake when Henry.

"No Edward!" She begged.

Something was up.

"Me and Tanya fooled around about a year ago. I talked to one of her friends." Henry said ignoring Tanya who was looking like she had gotten caught with her hand in the cookie jar

which she has.

She cheated on me!?

Wait a year ago was when Eric was... Oh no.

Henry saw my face and softened.

"I talked to one of her friends. She was pregunat BEFORE you guys had sex." he waited for it to set in...

Eric. Not mine?

The one thing going well in my life?

the one thing that stopped me from killing myself so long ago?

"She must have known she was was having a baby, and since your richer than me she got you drunk, had sex with you, and said it was your." Henry contuined. He turned to Tanya and returned to his angry tone he was in before.

"I. Want. My. Child." he said. "HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME?! WHAT KIND OF LOW LIFE WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS?!"

Tanya stayed silent. Her eyes rolled into her head and she fell down. We let her fall.

She landed on the ground with a thud.

We looked at her then shrugged it off and stared at each other the I looked at Eric.

My Eric.

Or WAS my Eric.

He isnt mine. I should be happy I have no other ties to Tanya but... I loved that little guy.

I Held out Eric and Henry, realizing I was giving him Eric, Held out his hands ready to cradle him. I place Eric in his arms and position Henrys arms so he supported Eric's head.

Henry looked down at Eric and I was the love in his eyes for the child he probably didnt even know he had till a week ago

"Well." I said sadly. "I guess I'll get out of here... You two need to talk this out. I'm not needed anymore... I dont need to be here."

I stepped around Henry and made a left to walk to the staircase. I was about to walk down when I heard Henry from down the hall.

"Thank you."

I looked back and shook my head as if saying your welcome. and I started down the steps.

He was the last thing I had.

He was one of the few things I loved that loved me back.

I walked down from the last step and went into the lobby, out the door glumly, I could feel peoples stares at my back, but I ignored them.

It was raining, but i didnt really care I turned left on the side walk, toward the nearest bar.

It started t rain harder and I stopped and sat on the bench at the bus stop.

I was tricked, stabbed, a beaten mentally by that women in there passed out, and I took it for nothing.

I looked up at the sky and wanted the rain that was pelting my face to was away my pain.

They say Karma has a way of coming back to get you. I wanna know what i did to deserve this life.

Why do the angels hate me so?

A/N - So how You like it? I knwo it's not my best. I could have done better, but i didnt know how to get it out right... Oh well. MORE REVIEWS MORE CHAPTERS. I didnt get much last time which is why i didnt update for a while... Also Rehearsals got hectic and homework and stuff buuut

REVIEW OR I"LL END IT LIKE THIS

REVIEW

REVIEW

REVIEW!!


	7. Chapter Seven

**A/N – ZOMG I'm soooo sorry It took this long to write another chapter you have no idea whats been going on and I dont want to talk about it just some drama (both kind) and serious stress, now it's the weekend and i have no hmwk but to my ya'll happy, thanks 4 waiting patiently, or not, idk hahaha. I know it as been super long since i last posted, my play is over and it is break so i will try to get this out by sunday okay? i was going to have it super long but i dont know how long a really long chapter would take so I'm posting this. Review and when you do say if you would rather have super long chapters every once in a while a frequent shot ones. kk?**

**DISCLAIMER! - **

**Me – Why must we do these?**

**Edward – Cause you dont own us!**

**Bella – Stephanie meyer does**

**Edward – can you say we are free for once? FREEDOM!**

**Bella – ummmm no....**

**Edward – _Dang_**

**Me – Does that count as the disclaimer?**

**Bella & Edward – I think so...**

**Me – I hope I don't get sued _(grabs onto Edward)_ I GO DOWN YOU COMING WITH ME!**

**Bella – _(grabs Edward from me)_ I don't think so...**

**Me –_ Dang_**

**(Don't you love my funny disclaimers?)**

**Edward's Pov! **

It had been 7 years since graduation when I let the love of my life get away.

Thats all I can really keep track of everything is in a blur. It's been some years since Tanya and Eric left my life. I saw him again, at the divorce trial and Henry was holding him on the other side of the court room. He's gotten so big and it was only 3 months after the whole Henry disaster, or blessing that came with the hell of Eric being gone. Cause Tanya was the one keeping the child She got most of everything and they gave me enough to rent a apartment in upstate New York. I stayed quiet the whole time and let my lawyer do the talking, employed by my father of course. My parents took the divorce well. You can say my mom was... Happy about the divorce, but upset it hurt me. I wasn't sad because Tanya and I was separating I was upset of how my life had taken such a turn into the dumpster. I had a kid, or thought i did. Found out my "Wife" and I use that term loosely, was a good for nothing gold digger. Bella, thats all I have to say, I've made so many mistakes in her eyes I cant count.

I threw my coffee against the wall in frustration. The stainless steel cup spinned splattering coffee everywhere. The cup thudded against the wall and fell to the tan carpet spilling the rest. I didn't care. The room was already a mess, you can say i was a slob. Aw heck I make a pig look like he has OCD. Either way the renters from past years before me were slobs too. They are stains everywhere, and, i hope it's not but, i think there is blood in the bedroom......Dirty thoughts, dirty thoughts..........

(IDK why and i dont know how to fix it but, everything from here out is in gray font. Just ignore it. the next part is really sweet.)

"_**Tell me that it's gonna be okay**_

_**Tell me that You'll help me find my way**_

_**Tell me You can see the light of dawn is breaking"**_

I padded my jean pockets looking for my phone. Not there... It's somewhere in here... Ummm is it coming from the bedroom? I walked into the bedroom, ignored the blood stain, and checked the night stand, which had my alarm clock, maybe the most annoying in the world, and my Pizza from.... hehe a week ago..... No phone.. Under the bed?

_**Tell me that it's gonna be alright**_

_**Tell me that You'll help me fight this fight**_

_**Tell me that You won't leave me alone in this**_

_S_ome people may find my ring-tone clashes with my life... I just like the song.

_**'Cause I need, I need a hand to hold**_

_**To hold me from the edge**_

_**The edge I'm sliding over slow**_

I dropped down to my knees and dropped to the floor. raising the bed sheet I shoved my hand under there, partly scared of what I had tucked away for a couple of years. My hand would run into things every now and then but I was positive my phone was under there. I pulled a few things out from under my bed to move them out of the way, tissues, old papers, clothes i though i had lost. I really should clean up the place. My hand ran along a smooth rectangle, a photo. i pulled it out in curiosity. I got back on my knees never having my eyes leave the photo. I couldn't believe the little photograph that held me so.

_**'Cause I need, I need Your hand to hold**_

_**To hold me from the edge**_

_**The edge I'm sliding past Hold on to me**_

It was 7 years ago on this day. High school graduation. Left to right was Alice and Bella, both smiling, Alice was linking arms with Bella, and what she could of Rose, Emmett was... Yeah.. Alice was excited, easily shown in the picture because it blurred slightly as if she was jumping up and down fast. Bella was, like i remember exactly, drop dead beautiful. Her long hair was blowing in the never stopping breeze that was Forks and she was smiling also. An honest smile not a Take-The-Freakin-Picture-Already smile an actual smile you would see on a person actually happy. She was just a happy go lucky person, no matter how down she got, she was never completely unhappy. Always looked on the bright side, even in the darkest days.

When we were 6 years old, Bella had forgotten but i never could, it was the first day i actually fell in love with Isabella Marie Swan. She was the innocent type, especially when she was a child, when her grandmother died she knew nothing much of death except she would never see her again, which only made Bella mad cause she didn't understand where she went, she barley understood where the pipe from the toilet goes. Bella had spent all day looking thought the bible, only being able to read every 5th word, she got any and all adults to read parts to her, even guest. They found it odd a 6 year old was reading the Bible, but the shrugged it off thinking we were just a religious family. Bella always had her nose in that book, trying to make sense of things. Finally about 8 months after her grandmother died she came into the backyard while me and Emmett played and laid down flat on her back and looked up at the sky.

"Hey grandma! I haven't talked to you in a while... kinda confused at death." She spoke to the blue

Emmett and I were confused. What was Bella doing?

"Bella...Why are you talkin to a cloud...your grandma is dead...." Emmett said. I wanted to kick him for reminding her of that fact but let it slide. I wanted to know the same thing. (misspellings are on purpose! they are 6!)

"My grandma was a goods persons. She did lost of goods things in her life and that mean she went to heaven, right? She's up there and can look down on us, right? So if she can look down and hear things why cants i talks to her?"

6 year old logic for you, but it made sense. 6 years old and she found her way to figure out death and handled it better than her dad, who had taken to drinking for about 3 months and then snapped out of it. He mom was not as bad, she didn't really like her mother-in-law much but a death in the family is still sad to anyone. Hopefully.

My phone had long stopped ringing and i heard the constant beeping which meant that someone had left a voicemail, or it was dying, either or I didn't hear it. I was in my own little world of Bella and memories and i liked it there. I couldn't believe i found this, i didn't even know i had it.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

Waking up out of my faze with a jolt i snapped my head to the left in the general direction of my front door. Who could that be? I didn't have any family down here, or friends, i paid my rent..... I think, who could it be?

I hesitantly placed the photograph gently on the corner of my bed and raised my self to my feet to answer the door.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

_RING RING RING_

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

"I'm coming.....I"M COMING JEZZZ! GET SOME PATIENTS YOU GOOD FOR NOTHIN INPAT-" I said, or more like screamed, as I opened the door and realized who it was. "Dad?"

There he was alright. Tall, still looked like he was 30 and not in he's 50, same as Esme. His blonde hair was in his face, and even though his hair was very pale it still looked golden compared to his pale skin. He was wearing his round black framed glasses, I looked him out and he was wearing dark clothing in layers. I looked him in the eye and the blue orbs held fatherly love and innocence.....

Like I had mentioned before, I had lost touch with my family. I didn't even think the knew where i lived.

"Hey Edward! I'm – I'm just here cause...Well....Um..." He looked down and sighed then straightened up and looked at me with a new emotion. Desperation? "We want you to come back home." He said finally, not a note in his voice detected even the slightest hint he wasn't dead honest and missed me, which caught me off guard. Carlisle was always the strong one, Esme the emotional, out off all the people in my family i would think to try to drag me back home was Alice and maybe Emmett but never Carlisle.

"We?" I asked still slightly shocked.

"Esme, and me. Alice misses you to but she doesn't live with us anymore. Emmett and Rose are down at the Forks University (A/N- TOTALLY MADE THAT UP xD) I'm sure they miss you to. We want you back Edward."

"I-I don't know dad..." I said dazed, this was completely new to me, i didn't expect anyone to care.

"Why? What's to think about? Do you want to stay here?" he said, realizing he was being impolite he tried to make up for it. "I mean it's- It's wonder- I mean look at the.... And the walls are so.... The area is – i mean..... 'm sure the neighbors are......... OKAY THE PLACE IS A DUMP! On the way up here i almost got mugged and 2 people asked if I wanted or had any drugs, and this was just on my way up the stairs Edward."

"So? I can deal."

"You live on the second floor Edward." He said in a low tone.

"Listen I'm been living here for a while, as you know i can charm the ladies to stay away and if any of the guys kill me they know the women will hunt down who ever did, looking for blood" i said with a smirk thinking of just last week a old roughed up guy dragged me into a alley trying to mug me and 3 middle aged women (who i do remember to have flirted with me in the past) attacked him. Purses CAN hurt. Women must carry rocks or something cause that man passed out cold after maybe 2 seconds of their attack.

"You cocky attitude is going to get you killed! I just want you safe! me and Esme want you safe! We ALL want you safe no matter what your thick head thinks! COME HOME! Please!"

Wow. Carlisle Has always let me on my own. Let me make my own choices. Once in 9th grade he let me play video games all exam wee cause that is what i chose, unwise yes, i realize that now, but he never said a word but "Your time to experiment and take risk and make your own mistakes". Some of you may think that is poor parenting but really it was the best for me, maybe not for other kids but for me. He really never told me what to do but now he was pleading with me to come home. I've never seen him beg in my life. I hurt him by my choices and I need to make it right. If that meant coming home so be it.

"......Okay...." I said finally. I watched him as the news seemed to spread, and register. Finally his eyes lit up and he walked in my apartment before i could stop him. He maybe walked in 3 small steps before he stopped suddenly and turned around, tensed.

"Oh yeah your coming with me......" He turned back around and muttered. " Maybe to get an appointment for a shot too..." I chuckled. He wrinkled his nose in disgust as he lifted with his thumb and index finger something off the couch. He lifted up to his face and examined it before throwing it away as fast and far as he could.

Oh yeah my dad the hard core New Yorker.

He wont last a minute

He smacked his hands together and rubbed them ,maybe for warmth, it was kinda chilly but i guess i got use to the weather here.

"Lets get packin'! Wheres your room?" He said looking around for a room, mentally guessing.

"What?"

"Your room? Wheres your room?"

"Um over there." I said pointing to the off white door right behind him on the other side of the room. I left the door open so when he turned around he let out a sigh and said over his shoulder.

"You always were a pig..." he said looking wary. I chuckled again. Sad as it is i think this is the most i've laughed all year.

Carlisle moved into my room, trying not to touch anything, and moved for my closet. He carefully and slowly opened my closed door as if expecting something to pop out.... When was the last time i actually looked in there? I have to admit there were places in my apartment that I don't even go in anymore.

One the door was fully opened piles of clothes fell out and landed on his head, pizza boxes fell to his feet and other things i cant identify fell around the floor. Carlisle didn't move a muscle and stood there. About a second past before he finally said something.

"Eeeeeedwarrrrd!"

"I know."

"I am so glad i didn't bring Esme, she would have had a heart attack, then come back from the dead, kill you then die....again..." Oh Carlisle you have such a way with words.

"Isn't that a little drastic?" I asked amused

"Have you seen this place or has the filth made you go blind to?"

I chuckled again. Man i was on a role!

He sorted through what junk he wasn't afraid to touch and found a large gray duffle bag that had my name spelled out in sharpie on the bottom. He looked around the room, nose wrinkled in disgust, as he looked around me room.

"Oh jezz" He muttered under his breath but i could still hear him. He walked to my bed and pinching clothes and things off the floor he threw them into my bag.

"Don't just stand there." He said " Grab another bag out of there and help me."

"Huh?"

"I was prepared to all but shoot your foot to get you on a plane to Forks. I booked your ticket and mine. We leave tomorrow. I'll come to get you a........8am.. and we'll go to the air port."

"Come get me? You know you can stay -" I started to say but Carlisle turned around and gave me the Your-Kidding-Right?-There's-No-Way-In-Hell-I'm-Staying-Here look "Never-mind.... I'll just....go get that bag..."

I stepped over the trash laying all over the ground and reached into the closet (HA! I still have all my fingers!) and found a large sorta of tote bag i had gotten from public a while ago.

I Went to my dresser and threw in this and that, pair of boxers, (A/n – Girls keep it in your pants! Lol) shirt, pants. that sorta stuff into the bag i had gotten most of my top drawer when i felt Carlisle tap my shoulder. I turned around t o look at his face but instead i was face to face with the picture i had not 10 minutes ago been drooling at.

"So....You've been looking at this recently? cause i noticed it isn't covered in mustard or smell of gym locker room." Carlisle said smug.

"Uhhhh.... You see... It was like – I mean I cant – I miss – Umm..... Yeah i um heave been...."

Smooth, Edward.

"I know it wasn't one of us, not Alice, Maybe Emmett or Jasper but i hope you dont start at pictures of boys you miss" He teased me

" Not me or Esme cause there are other pictures of us in the house you could have stared at" Damn Mr. Detective-Dad coming out

"So that would only leave Bella. He said Very sure of himself with his smug grin getting bigger. Dammit! Panic mode sinking in, I mean I really dont want my father to know my pathetic dreams of me and Bella and maybe one day – EDWARD BACK TO REALITY!

"Um. well I mean we are- were- good friends i um miss her" Well the last part was true.

"You can cut the act boy I know my own son good enough." Crap. I sighed and looked down at my feet but i could still feel Carlisle stare.

"You know I bet she misses you to." He said " You guys were the best of friends before... Well you shunned us all for... you know who" Carlisle didn't like to mention Tanya. Actually he didn't like to mention her before anything happened but still. "For a while me, Esme, Charlie, and Renee were sure you two were going to get married but, i guess, things happened, things DO happen and well. I'm sure she let you back in her life at any chance. She always was the kind one, Bella."

"You think I have a chance?" I asked, feeling like a 13 year old boy, but in your parents eyes you'll always be that little baby who needed to be changed, feed, and held every 5 seconds. Sometimes thats exactly who I want to be, my parent son.

"Honestly? I never had more faith in love, but we've lost touch with Bella's Family and herself a long time ago. I heard rumor Bella was to be wed to Jacob Black, that young boy from La Push, but that was a rumor."

I feel so guilty. If I had just stayed away from Tanya and believed a speck in myself that possibly Bella could have loved my back, I'd have her, I'd have them all. but I was stupid, I went after that slut and look where i am now! In a run down apartment where the roaches come to die. I was the glue that kept everyone together and now Jasper and Alice aren't even in the U.S.A anymore, Emmett and Rose are In some collage back home, Bella is who knows where! And then Carlisle and Esme lost their children to the world.

Stupid! Stupid! STUPID!

"Come on lets get to packing" I said in a low monotones voice.

I'll fix this, I have to.

A/N – OKAY! i was going to make this longer but i decide ya'll have been patient and i wanted this out right away! I'm starting on the next chapter now! I will have more time to write this now that the play is over, I'm sad that it is over, i bawled my eyes out cause of it. I love drama but i guess i am relived it's over it was allot work on average about 8 extra hour at school and allot of hard work, don't get my wrong i die for it but you need to cool off. Any-who here it is!


	8. Chapter Eight

_**I own nothing, thank you for reading. Sorry it's been so long, I'll try to make it up to you(:**_

_**Also, I may have made some writing liberty's with Forks. So, just go with me.**_

_***** WARNING! I POSTED THIS UP RIGHT AFTER WRITING! I WILL FIX IT LATER!******_

**EPOV**

Home, sweet home? I've never really been the kinda person who spends time away from home, and then once they come rushing back they are once again filled with joy and 'tingly insides' for lack of better words. But right now- looking at the green covered land that I've literally been raised to call home-brings back memories that back in New York only reoccured in my head, in dreams long forgotten once awoken - I'll risk sounding horribly cliché and say it. Home, Sweet Home.

My breath fogged up the glass as I lazily pressed my forehead on the window. Carlisle and I were on a bus home, and were currently passing St. George street. One of the more popular spots in Forks where everyone in the small town came for something to do. The street was lined with clothing stores, food stores, and other historical parts of Forks all set next to a lake that people would swim in or sail on if they had a boat. Each road we pass by I have a memory to go along with it, however faint or strong it maybe. When you spend your entire life in a small town, you get to know it fairly well.

Since when have I become one for sentimental value and analyzing emotions?

You'd think I was Alice. She was always fore-telling what was going to happen based off her grilling you on 'How do you feel about that' or just knowing you. As her brother, you can guess that I had one too many 'Alice Moments' in my childhood. Between her and Jasper my emotions were never private.

Not for the first time today, I wondered how the family was. How Alice was, how she was doing with Jasper, what Rose and Emmett are up too in... college? They are in college together aren't they?.. What Esme has done with the house since her children left... and Bella... I just..

No! I can't think of all this here. I can't, I won't. I can't, I won't...

I kept repeating my mini mantra over and over in my head. A picture of brown hair pressed to my face as Bella let me hold her for the last time appeared in my head. As soon as it would pop up the words would push it back down. The internal battle in my head hurt. I sighed in frustration, causing a quick glance from Carlisle, but he soon turned his attention back to his Blackberry.

Trying to take my mind of... well, my life really.. I looked out the window and just focused on where we were. On our right was the old Catholic church. One of the only large buildings in the small town. Giant stained glass windows portraying a religious figure standing in the suns rays places above the tall arches of the entrance of the building. The parking lot was rather full for a Saturday night. Perhaps there was some kind of fundraiser going on? Couldn't be sure. I've never been much of a religious one. I wasn't even in touch with the church when I still lived here. Perhaps it was a kid's fundraiser? It looked like they were looking outside for something, or someone. Hide and seek? Manhunt? Again, no idea. But wondering kept my mind off things.

The bus continued through the town, and passed the park from my childhood. The swing set, flower garden, and small pond that was always a fun place to run around. It was empty at the moment, which was a little strange. There was always a few families around. I got the answer to why it was strange when a flash of lightening brightened the sky and was followed with a loud bang. Not too long after Forks reminded me how it was the Rainiest Place on Earth and showered Forks.

I spaced out as I watched the rain hit the window and get pushed away with the wind. Passing by same old Forks that has never changed, and never will. That thought though made me smile though. Change maybe a good thing to most people, but I haven't really had the best luck with changing anything. Same green land, same park, same girl sitting on the curb... wait, what?

A little further down the road was a women, she looked about my age and had wavy mahogany hair down to the middle of her back that was drenched and sticking to her face from the rain, but it looked as if it was coming undone from a complicated hairdo. The white dress she was wearing was mudded at the hem.. A wedding dress? Yes, a strapless white wedding dress. Who was this women? She looked painfully familiar. I had the urge to ask to stop the bus and help the women, or find out who she was.

But by the time the bus passed her, her face was in her lap and I was going away from her.

"I don't know if I mentioned this to you," Carlisle interrupted my questions. " but our house is currently under a little construction. They are replacing the flooring in most of the house. Rain and humidity with wood don't mix. So we're going to be staying in Emmett and Rose's apartment for a day or two. They live right next to St. George street." I nodded at the plan. No objections. It would be nice to see Emmett and Rose again.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Emmett and Rose's apartment ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

"EMMETT! YOU GOOF-BALL! Why is there a mass of pillows and blankets in my living room!" Rose fumed, screaming through out the apartment, trying to find the culprit so she could wring his neck.

"Oh sure, it's MY apartment when it needs to be clean, but I have a LITTLE FUN and all of a sudden it's yours!" A voice echos back, Rose follows it with furry.

"WELL CLEAN IT UP! EDWARD AND CARLISLE ARE GOING TO BE HERE ANY MOMENT!"

"DO YOU HAVE TO SCREAM?" Cried a voice from directly behind her, she squealed whipping around to smack Emmett square in the chest. "Oww, Rose. You sure hurt for a girl."

"And don't you ever forget it! And how many times do I have to tell you DON'T DO THAT!"

"However many times I have to tell you DON'T SCREAM!" He fired back. The fought like an old married couple sometimes. Maybe thats why she loved him so much.

She reached up and kissed him. "I'm not sorry." She smirked into his lips.

"Neither am I. But I am fighting you back way more if all I get is a smack and a kiss."

She laughed and broke apart from him, receiving a puppy dog pout from Emmett, but she rolled her eyes and went to the 'fort'.

"Now. Meaning of this?" She asked. Waiting for her patience to be tested.

"I mayyy, or may not... WANNA PLAY ARMY WITH EDWARD!" He exclaimed like a freaking five year old.

"... I'm... I'm just going to walk this way... and tell them it's your fault."

"What is?" Emmett questioned.

"Life."

"Ha ha. Good one." Emmett shot back.

"Clean it up!" Rose ordered.

"Yes _ma'am_." Emmett mocked, but tore off the top pillows of his 'masterpiece' regardless. "Hey, you know when Esme is coming back? She should be coming home from the grocery store very soon."

"Yeah, big diner for Edward's return!" Rose cheered, then her face turned very somber. "I hope he realizes his home.."

"He will Rosie... He will.."

"But only if he finds Bella, right?.." She added. "If anyone could, he would.. I always thought they were meant for one another. But I guess we're all in our different worlds, huh?"

"Everything will work our Rosie.."

And with that, a fort was destroyed and new hope was raised.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Paris ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~**

"Alice?"

"I'm not sure yet!" Alice called from behind the door.

"Well how long?" Jasper quietly asked. Patiently as always.

"I'm not sure yet!" Alice frantically called again

"Do you... Could you guess the?.. Do you have an idea if...?" He tried to phrase.

"I'M NOT SURE YET!"

"Do you have another answer?..."

There was a pause before Alice timidly answered through the door "I'm not sure yet..." Jasper chuckled despite the tension.

"Alice... I think we should go home if it's what we hope." Jasper said, prepared to reason with her. She knew that tone from when she tried to convince him that it was normal to have 3 closets or that she can't get rid of any of her shoes, cause they are all worth millions - in sentimental value, that is.

"Jasper.. You know I want to.. but what can we do? We have lives here. We've made our home here. I don't know how I could be a fashion designer for Forks! Where the whole town could borrow the same shirt."

"I know Alice. But, maybe we could just take this one step at a time? First we need to know the answer. And can you come out! It's hard talking through the door."

The was a small bit of silence, followed by a click of the door being unlocked and Alice's spiky jet black haired head peaking out from the other side of the door.

"You locked the door?" He asked.

"Force of habit, and beside, I thought I might need my privacy." He let it drop with a smile.

"Do you have it?" He asked, slightly scared.

"You think I'm letting this thing out of my sight? Of course I have it! I'm just near a ment-"

"Alice?" Jasper interjected.

"and I could have a heart attack from the stress! I know home much you want this, how much I-"

"Alice.."

"But I don't know! I can't handle if we.. I mean, ahh! I-"

"ALICE!... Look.."

Alice instantly quieted, and looked down at the pregnancy stick in her hand that read "Positive"

And with that, Paris was forgotten and a family was coming home.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 2 Weeks Later ~ Bella *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

I was going crazy.

It's will be official if I spend one more day in enough fear to prevent me from going out into MY town. Or even go into my coffee shop! Cause it's where I met him.. He might come to me there. He'll ask me why.. and I can't face him.. I just can't face him yet.. I can't face anybody. I've spent all the time in my house -which in itself is a small confined place. how much do you expect a girl to be able to buy off profit from a small town coffee shop- not leaving. But today I was going to change that. Today I was going to leave and stop hiding from the world and in self pity.

If I was so committed to the idea, then why have I had my hand on the door knob for five minutes?

All I had to do was open this _freaking door_, get into my car, drive down to St. George street, and open up for the day. Maybe I can just go tomorrow?.. That sounds good to me...

But even then I knew that I was just amusing myself with this idea, I had to go to work. I'd eaten everything in the house, and had no more money around cause I used the last of it ordering pizza last night. Even if I could stay home another day I would have to leave to go get food. Or a could starve for a few days.. I mean, yes I guess I am skinny, but I might have a few fat resources that I could use...

No! No Bella! You have to leave.

Maybe if you get over it all easily he did too... You have that hope..

And with that, I finally opened that _freaking door. _

***~*~*~*~*~ Edward ~*~*~*~*~***

Do you ever feel like.. I'm not sure how to explain it.. Like your here, but not belonging? Even though nothing is happening that would tell you other wise? I didn't want to brood and mope anymore, but it was all I have. Yes, I'm in Forks. Now what? What else am I suppose to do? How do I fix all the mistakes I've made? I want the life I should have. I want to forget.

To be completely honest. I haven't done much since I've arrived at Forks. Actually to be completely honest I haven't even left the house. Me and Emmett had a good time reconnecting. Almost 2 years of not talking to my brother but nothings changed. He's still the same goof-ball he's always been. He even wanted to play this silly fort game me and him use to play when we were 8 or so. He knew how much I loved to play that game back then. It meant allot he remembered. Even though Rose interrupted in the game and turned it into a violent pillow fight of strategy and sneak attacks. And she won. I didn't know you could have a women half your size hurt you with a pillow, but it's possible. Believe me.

Esme was the most excited to see me though. She cooked an entire Thanksgiving meal for my return. Still eating leftovers. I forgot how good Esme's cooking was.

I forgot all of things about Forks.

Today was an odd sunny day in Forks, and as family tradition, the Cullen family (Minus a few) were all leaving to have some sort of family trip. Usually we'd go hiking, but Esme had to a little shopping- And Rosalie was all too eager to not pass up shopping for a camping trip- So were going to St. George street, where Emmett, Carlisle and I can go to the lake and Rose and Esme can go shopping.

"Hey, Edward! Loosen the sail will ya? The wind is getting rougher!"

"Sure, Dad!" I yelled back against the wind. Taking the rope, I pulled up till the sail became less restricted and the boat slowed slightly.

"Aww, look at little Eddie looking out on the water. He missed us! He truly missed us!" Emmett over dramatized.

"Shut up, Em."

He snickered as I threw a spare life vest at his head. All of a sudden he jumped up in excitment and pointed over at something in the forrest. "EDWARD! EDWARD LOOK!" I looked over to where he pointed to see a long thick rope tied to a tree with a tire swing attached. "Carlisle, can we go play on it? Can we, can we, can we?"

I swear, this boy is either ADHD or the oldest 5 year old ever. But Carlisle decided to entertain him, and he jumped out of the boat and climbed onto the swing. "COME ON EDWARD!" He cried.

"Ahh, okay! Freaking five year old muscular man... Just buy you some small swallowable object and I wont have to deal with this anymore..."

"What?"

"Coming! Endearing brother of mine!"

"Your a jerk. AND DON'T YOU DARE SAY 'I know'! I hate that song."

"Sure, Em..."

With that, he swung far over the water and jumped off, cannonballing into the water.

"I give you a six." I commented.

"NU-UH! That was sooo an 8! You try!" And so thats how we spent an hour or so. Eventually even Carlisle joined in.

**_"RING RING RING RING"_**

"Carlisle! Your phone's ringing!" Emmett said as he plowed into the water again. Carlisle climbed out of the water and answered the phone as me and Emmett continued to goof-off.

"Okay guys, wrap it up. Girls want us to meet them on St. George street for a little food before we head back home."

"Awwwwww." Both me and Emmett groaned. But climbed in anyway. Emmett a little more clumsily then me. Ha.

Carlisle didn't bother with the sail and used the motor to guide us in, since we weren't too far off. Sloping wet, me and Emmett tossed the only towel back and forth on our way to the main street in some sad attempt to not bring in a mini lake to whatever resturant we were going to.

Once into town we were a little dryer now. Mostly just damp. Oh well, we'll just leave a bigger tip for whoever has to clean up after us.

"I think Esme said it was this one? I'm not sure. I've never been to it, but Esme found it a week or two ago and thinks it's the best coffee in town" Carlisle said while standing in front of a store which read 'Tiny Java'

"Not to hard." Said Emmett. "I think it's the only place around here that sells coffee."

"Touche." I added.

Coming in we found Rose and Esme quickly. Sitting in a booth next to the window in the corner.

"Hey guys! You will DIE for the coffee here. Best. Ever." Esme piped up, waving us over.

"Told you." Carlisle muttered under his breath.

"Can you go order for us Edward? I want a Mocha, Esme wants just black coffee, and Carmel expresso for Emmett and Carlisle, right?"

"Yup." Agreed Carlisle.

I rolled my eyes. How did I get stuck as the waitress? Maybe I can get the person working here to bring it to us.

Somehow I planned it so I got to the counter at the same moment the server came out from the back kitchen.

"Hi, can I ha-" I started to order.

The server turned out to be a her. A her with long mahogany hair that framed her sweetheart face and deep brown eyes normal big but widened even more so in registration. A her with delicate lips loose as her jaw was dropped in shock.

Reconition flooded her beautiful face right as my heart rose in realization.

It was her.

"Bella?" Disbelief coloring my tone.

"E-E-Edward?"

I ignored that I we hadn't spoken in 7 years. I ignored the fact that we were in a public place or that I missed my chance with her.

Quickly jumping over the counter I grabbed her into my arms and held her tight.

And she held on too.


End file.
